By Jude Huck-Reymond

Today, I feel like I am a failure.

Some imagination I had about the future became undeniably false during my recent experiences. I had expectations that did not get met. I feel extremely aware of only my shortcomings.

However, my lover pointed out that I am not a failure. Instead, I am a human who is experiencing feelings of failure in my mind. These words felt humanizing. They reminded me that every realization of failure in my life only exists within myself. Failure does not exist in the universe around us, it only exists in the spirits of the beings that inhabit it.

If the Earth is someday pummeled by a huge asteroid, it will not think of itself as a failure for not avoiding the asteroid. Nor does it feel successful in gaining some mass. The asteroid does not feel like a failure for hitting the Earth either. It is simply an event that happens in our Universe. Now, the humans inhabiting the Earth may feel like a failure for not avoiding the collision. But however they feel, the Earth continues revolving, the sun keeps shining and the rest of the universe continues to follow its geodesic path through time.

Failure is a trait evolved by consciousness, and more specifically, humans on Earth. If not for this feeling of failure, we would never know how to improve ourselves, and we would never learn to overcome challenges. These feelings are a brilliant strength that evolved in our species, and how we deal with this trait can determine a lot about our lives. Feelings of failure are a result of facing adversity and surviving. Maybe our ancestors felt like failures for not gathering enough food. Our lifestyle has evolved exponentially, yet humans have very old emotions.

When we fail, we have a spectrum of ways to respond to the intense feelings that follow. In all failures, we can give up hope. We can let go of the effort we put into trying to succeed, cut our losses, and dwell on whatever may have happened. However, we can also reflect on that failure, deeply. We can notice how it makes us feel and analyze why we failed in the first place. The harder we fail, the more opportunity there is for us to learn from our experience. This is one of the secrets of life that I’ve been taught. Learn every drop of what you can from each failure. Use what you learned to try again. This is personal evolution.

Today I failed. I sat with that failure for a few hours. I have learned. In order to avoid the same feelings in the future, I must prepare more rigorously in the future. I hope you can learn from your own failures as I have from mine.